I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life. Commentary:Commitment issues? Nah, just auditioning for a hit reality drama! 🎭💔📅 Related Funny Quotes 🤝 The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen. One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed? The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen. I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship. Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.