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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Just landed via Snapchat:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Just shared via X:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Spotted on Reddit:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Shared recently on X:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Breaking via Facebook:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Going viral on YouTube:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Trending via X:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

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I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.
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Commentary:
"Life's about winging it like a pro! 🤷‍♂️🌟 Who needs GPS when you've got natural talent in the art of 'fake it till you make it'? 😄 Keep on pretending like you know what you're doing, and maybe one day you'll actually figure it out… or not! 🤣 #ConfidentlyClueless"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

38 shares on Threads this month:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

32 shares on Slack this month:

I’m running out of people I like.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Just shared via WeChat:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Trending via Threads:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Spotted on Discord:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Just landed via TikTok:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

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