Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.
  • My wallet is empty, just like my soul.
  • Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
  • So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000
  • My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.
  • My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.