Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Trending via Twitch:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Making waves on Telegram:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Spotted on Slack:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Trending via Threads:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Making waves on Discord:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, those must be some ancient artifacts! 📜💾😂"

aging, browser, browser tab, computer, humor, i, internet, meme, older, open, procrastination, tab, tabs, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My middle finger salutes you.

0

2 months ago

attitude, finger, gesture, humor, insult, middle, middle finger, rude, rude gesture, salute, sarcasm
No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, family, humor, know, lie, parent, promise, sarcasm, seeing, well
Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

0

2 months ago

activity, awkward, awkward situation, context, date, first date, funny context, hiking, Hitler, just, outdoor, outdoor activity, situation, ugh
My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

0

4 months ago

delicious, delicious food, food, food lover, future, future husband, humor, hunger, hungry, husband, i, know, lover, lucky, never, relationship, restaurant, restaurants, stay
I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

0

2 months ago

annoying, back, banter, bed, couple, couple dynamics, dynamics, eyes, eyes roll, funny relationship, humor, i, just, not in bed, playful, playful banter, relationship, roll
I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

0

2 months ago

family, gangsta, grandma, humor, irony, rebellion, want, wishes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

22 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Live now on Discord:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Live now on Pinterest:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Trending via Messenger:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Live now on Facebook:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Spotted on Instagram:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Going viral on Twitch:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My middle finger salutes you.

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨