Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Making waves on X:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Shared recently on X:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Making waves on Threads:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Going viral on Instagram:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Breaking via Instagram:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sending positive vibes and bed sheets for everyone's well-being! 😜🛌 #MentalHealthMatters"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Trending via YouTube:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Making waves on Threads:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Just shared via Twitch:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Spotted on Instagram:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Going viral on Instagram:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

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