Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Making waves on Twitch:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Making waves on WeChat:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Just shared via Slack:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Just landed via Threads:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Broadcasted on X:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Just landed via Twitch:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Just landed via Slack:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Just shared via Slack:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, there's always someone out there who cares… Just not me, I'm busy eating snacks and watching cat videos 🍿🐱 #Priorities"

care, everyone, humor, i, irony, just, me, sarcasm, somebody, someone, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

0

2 months ago

balance, before, care, cycle, education, good, health, humor, idea, life, mental, mental cycle, mental health, putting, self, self-care, stress, student, student life
Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

0

2 months ago

always, delay, horrible, humor, i, laziness, management, mean, nothing, plus, procrastination, productivity, something, thing, time, time management, today, tomorrow
We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, boobs, heaven, humor, nipples, pointlessness, thank
I can resist everything except temptation.

0

2 months ago

everything, humor, i, irony, resistance, self-control, temptation
My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

0

2 months ago

book, fast, friend, frustration, humor, i, joy, life, read, reading, recommend, relationship, speed
They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

0

2 months ago

alive, existence, humor, invent, invention, irony, life, living, should, word, word invention

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Just shared via Messenger:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Spotted on Instagram:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Making waves on Discord:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Going viral on YouTube:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Breaking via Slack:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

I can resist everything except temptation.

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨