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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,781

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Trending via Slack:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Spreading quickly via X:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the previous writer left the character in "uh-oh" mode, and the new writer's here for "damage control" duty! 😅✍️📚

character, comic, conflict, humor, i, last, pissed, reading, tell, writer, writing, writing conflict

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

1 month ago

age, came, forgetfulness, getting, humor, life, luck, lucky, means, memory, remembering, room, walking
Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

4 weeks ago

crack, dark, funny injury, glow, humor, humorous, humorous moment, i, injury, joke, just, knee, knee crack, light, light joke, loud, loud sound, moment, noise, physical, physical humor, sound, unexpected, unexpected noise
My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

4 weeks ago

awkward, comedy, everyday, forgetfulness, hand, holding, humor, looking, me, move, phone, relatability, self-deprecating, signature, smartphone, tech
Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

1 month ago

alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected
I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

1 month ago

dessert, eating, food, good, humor, joke, math, Pi, pun, solving
Give us this day our daily internet validation.

1 month ago

daily, day, give, humor, internet, life, media, modern, modern life, prayer, social, social media, us, validation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Breaking via Threads:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Just shared via X:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Live now on Messenger:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

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Activity Log ✨

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Cool times create cool guys.

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I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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