Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Going viral on Reddit:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Making waves on X:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Just shared via TikTok:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Shared recently on X:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Going viral on Facebook:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

20 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Procrastination has never been so productive! 😂🔍📚

doing, humor, i, joke, laziness, love, minute, procrastination, research, science, study, stuff

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

0

2 months ago

am, announcement, bravery, dark, dark room, funny moment, humor, i, moment, mouse, myself, room, self-awareness, whenever, yesterday
The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

0

2 months ago

am, attraction, crush, eyes, flirting, humor, humor quote, i, joke, officer, playful, police, reason, romance, witty
The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

0

2 months ago

blowing, forecast, humor, joke, meteorology, percentage, prediction, should, weather, weather forecast, wind, windiness
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

0

2 months ago

age, bonk, Christmas, empty, fun, gift, head, holiday, humor, old, over, playful, someone, still, thing, tradition, tube, wrapping, wrapping tube
I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

0

5 months ago

1955, back, days, exist, existence, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, old, past, time
I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, aging, club, hardware, hardware store, humor, i, lifestyle, preference, social, social activity, store, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

97 shares on Discord this month:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

19 shares on Slack this month:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Making waves on Threads:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Making waves on Threads:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Live now on Discord:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Trending via Snapchat:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Trending via Telegram:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨