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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,856

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Shared recently on Slack:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Making waves on Discord:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a PhD in Love and a Master's in Oops 😂💘

emotion, exaggeration, hard, harder, humor, i, love, relationship, self-deprecating, stupid, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

4 months ago

3, everything, hours, i, later, missed, missing, missing out, nap, parallel, parallel universe, sleep, thinking, time, time warp, toxic, toxic trait, trait, universe, waking, waking up, warp, where
The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

1 month ago

body, crematorium, death, fitness, hope, hot, hot body, humor, irony, joke, last
Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

1 month ago

check, distraction, done, excuse, homework, i, Instagram, media, need, presentation, procrastination, school, social, social media, technology, teen, teenager, teens, why
First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

1 month ago

buying, celebration, firework, fireworks, first time, high five, humor, i, ID, me, ones, picked, right, salesman, sure, time, wink
You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

2 months ago

attraction, cartoon, give, Goofy, humor, hyuck, i, love, weird
Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

2 months ago

95, anyone, cd, cleaned, cleaning, drawer, humor, junk, junk drawer, just, needs, nostalgia, technology, Windows, Windows 95

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Shared recently on Facebook:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

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I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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