I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

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Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

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That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

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Can we skip to the rich part?

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Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

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Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

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Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

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Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

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I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

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I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.