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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Making waves on YouTube:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Spotted on TikTok:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Just landed via Facebook:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Going viral on X:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Shared recently on Threads:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Just shared via Telegram:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

2 months ago

0

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who doesn't dream of that six-month vacation… or maybe even two of them! 😂🏝️ Just imagine the tan lines, the relaxing beach days, and the blissful escape from responsibility. Sign me up for that vacation plan! 🌞 #VacationGoals"

break, humor, i, irony, leisure, need, relaxation, time, time off, vacation, work, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

0

2 months ago

am, cartoon, celebrate, Christmas, Flintstones, holiday, humor, i, irony, time, time travel, travel, wonder
Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

0

2 months ago

empathy, humor, me, me too, OMG, relatability, therapist, too
Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

0

2 months ago

4pm, activity, bedtime, close, debate, humor, i, need, night, riled, start, thing, time
If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, millionaire, money, people, relationships, sarcasm, single, someone
Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

0

2 months ago

activity, aliens, basket, creativity, fellas, friendship, fun, fun activity, gift, gift basket, humor, making, me, welcome, welcome gift
I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

0

2 months ago

chair, clearer, clearer picture, days, good, good ol’ days, humor, i, memory, miss, nostalgia, ol’, picture, remember, smack, technology, things, TV

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I have a very active anti-social life.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

72 shares on Instagram this month:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Work beers should be a daily thing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Seen just now on Messenger:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Trending via Telegram:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Just landed via Telegram:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Just shared via Facebook:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Just shared via TikTok:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Just landed via TikTok:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

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