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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of our digital age – multitasking entertainment connoisseur! 📺📱 Who knew finding the perfect show could be as challenging as balancing a plate of spaghetti on a unicycle? 🍝🤹‍♂️"

activity, distraction, entertainment, good, humor, i, need, phone, something, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

1 month ago
advice, behavior, bite, child, child behavior, Google, humor, kid, kids, marriage, married, parenting, teach, things
Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

2 months ago
bed, couch, follow, humor, me, question, relaxation, sleep, tiredness
Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

1 month ago
budget, confuse, dating, finance, humor, men, money, month, never, only, operational, recruitment, relationship
Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

1 month ago
date, expectations, girlfriend, hours, humor, needs, problem, ready, relationship, sh, time
Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

4 months ago
accept, acceptance, calm, chaos, clean, clean kitchen, cleaning, day, embrace, finished, household, humor, inner, inner calm, just, kitchen, laundry, laundry day, myth, truth
My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

1 month ago
awake, backwards, bed, daily, daily routine, day, humor, i, morning, night, reverse, routine, sleep, tired, wake, wide

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

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I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

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Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

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Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

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Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

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Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

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Just landed via Discord:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Just shared via X:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Shared recently on X:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Just shared via YouTube:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Spotted on Instagram:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Making waves on TikTok:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

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Activity Log ✨

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Come on, karma, do your job.

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

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I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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