Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.
  • On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.
  • My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.
  • I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.
  • When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”
  • My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.