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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Just landed via Discord:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Going viral on Reddit:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Spotted on Instagram:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Trending via WeChat:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the moon is out there herding wolves, women, and waves, you know it's under a lot of pressure! 🌕🐺🌊👩‍🦰"

astrology, celestial, humor, i, moon, most, nature, ocean, respect, three, wolf, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

0

2 months ago

another, beautiful, beautiful day, daily, daily life, day, humor, irony, life, procrastination, responsibility, ruined, stress, work
People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, bribe, child, children, chore, chores, doing, here, humor, just, myself, own, people, raising, self-motivation, treat, treats, trying
No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

0

2 months ago

breakup, embarrassment, gangsta, humor, last, me, relationship, relationships
The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

0

2 months ago

amusement, amusement park, circle, different, ferris, Ferris wheel, humor, inventor, man, merry-go-round, met, never, park, wheel, wordplay
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, asked, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, conversation, conversation fail, elevator, elevator ride, fail, failures, guy, hell, hotel, hotel elevator, humor, i, just, me, moment, ride, said, silence, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, today, too, us, well
Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

0

2 months ago

charcuterie, confusion, having, humor, language, pronounce, pronunciation, stroke, trying, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Making waves on Reddit:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Just shared via Facebook:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Making waves on Discord:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Breaking via TikTok:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Just landed via Twitch:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨