44 funny three quotes - Wordgag

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

May 24, 2026

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

May 24, 2026

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

May 23, 2026

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

May 23, 2026

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

May 23, 2026

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

May 23, 2026

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

May 23, 2026

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

May 19, 2026

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

May 19, 2026

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

May 19, 2026

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

May 18, 2026

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Apr 1, 2026

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Apr 1, 2026

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Apr 1, 2026

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Apr 1, 2026

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Apr 1, 2026

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Apr 1, 2026

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Apr 1, 2026

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Mar 31, 2026

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Mar 31, 2026

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Mar 31, 2026

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Mar 31, 2026

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Mar 31, 2026

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Mar 31, 2026

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Mar 31, 2026

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Mar 31, 2026

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Mar 31, 2026

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Mar 30, 2026

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Mar 30, 2026

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Mar 30, 2026

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Mar 29, 2026

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Mar 29, 2026

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Mar 29, 2026

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Mar 29, 2026

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Mar 28, 2026

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Mar 28, 2026

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Mar 28, 2026