Trendy Funny Quotes

  • A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”
  • What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.
  • Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.
  • My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.
  • Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!
  • The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.