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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Going viral on X:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Just landed via Messenger:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Spotted on TikTok:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Going viral on Facebook:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

2 months ago

0

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a soulmate when you have carbs to fulfill your every craving 🍟🍕🥨? Who needs flowers and chocolates when you have a warm loaf of bread waiting for you? Carbs truly are the way to your heart (and stomach)! 💖 #CarbLife"

addiction, carb, craving, food, humor, i, love, relationship, soulmate, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

0

2 months ago

else, everyday, everyday life, everyone, fashion, fit, hope, humor, i, life, pants, put, still, struggle
I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

0

5 months ago

am, communication, DM, DMs, humor, i, ignore, media, message, online, online communication, promise, rejection, social, social media, soulmate
Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, encounter, escape, escape room, every, funny observation, grocery, grocery store, humor, know, observation, room, social, social anxiety, social encounter, someone, store, surprise
The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

0

2 months ago

being, emotional, emotional state, final, humor, independence, irony, listen, loneliness, love, love song, mind, point, relationship, single, singleness, solitude, song, stage, state
My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

0

2 months ago

care, dish, exaggeration, family, humor, i, parenting, put, sink, son, urgent, urgent care
I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

0

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, joke, relationship, sarcasm, stupid, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

56 shares on Slack this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

63 shares on X this month:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

35 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

95 shares on X this month:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Just landed via Instagram:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Breaking via Messenger:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Going viral on Facebook:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Trending via Pinterest:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Just landed via Discord:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Going viral on Facebook:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Spotted on Slack:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

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