Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Live now on Facebook:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Going viral on TikTok:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
No body heat issues when you're forever hot stuff! 🔥💀😎

again, body, cremated, cremation, dark, dark humor, death, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, smoking-hot, want, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

0

2 months ago

age, asking, changes, eyesight, getting, getting older, humor, instructions, keep, know, life, life changes, older, print, small, small print
Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

0

4 days ago

fact, flirtation, humor, knowledge, let, me, seduction, things, trivia, useless, useless fact
Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

0

4 months ago

advice, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, life tip, mechanism, nothing, right, sleep, tip
January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

0

2 days ago

1st, actually, always, calendar, date, day, day feeling, feeling, feels, funny observation, humor, January, January 1st, new, new year, observation, perception, Sunday, time, time perception, year
I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

0

6 days ago

actually, charming, dark, dark humor, guillotine, humor, i, let, me, sarcasm, wit
My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

0

2 months ago

adventure, aspiration, bag, big, career, goal, humor, main, moment, money, treasure, woods

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

67 shares on Discord this month:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

24 shares on Discord this month:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Just landed via WeChat:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Just shared via Messenger:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Spotted on WeChat:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Shared recently on X:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨