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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic midlife crisis conundrum: gym membership and protein shakes vs. Snickers for breakfast in bed 🍫💪 Talk about tough life choices! Looks like the Snickers won the battle this time. Who needs abs when you've got chocolate, right? 🤷‍♂️ #MidlifeCrisisGoals"

bed, body, breakfast, crisis, eating, eating in bed, gym, gym membership, humor, i, indulgence, me, membership, midlife, midlife crisis, revenge, revenge body, self-care, Snickers, want, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

5 months ago
awkward, awkward moment, favorite, humor, i, interaction, know, moment, people, pretend, public, social, social interaction, thing
Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

24 hours ago
actually, humor, i, interaction, internet, online, outside, people, social, social interaction, sometimes, stranger, strangers, talk, wonder
Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

1 month ago
awareness, brain, brain damage, damage, excessive, humor, irony, know, me, sarcasm, screen, screen time, shows, study, technology, time, whenever
Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

1 month ago
ever, honesty, humor, i, irony, lie, lying, phrase, stress, time, worry
I’d pretend to care about football for you.

1 month ago
care, football, humor, ID, love, pretend, relationship, sacrifice
Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

2 months ago
am, apology, communication, humor, i, lady, me, relationship, repeat, sorry, wrong

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Seen just now on Slack:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Trending via YouTube:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Shared recently on Discord:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

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Activity Log ✨

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

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I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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