Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Spotted on YouTube:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Just landed via Reddit:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Just landed via X:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When billionaires need a hug after the election, you know democracy is doing its cardio. 💸😢🏃‍♂️

after, election, failed, failure, humor, people, person, politics, rich, rich person, satire, upset

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

1 month ago
ask, day, escape, home, humor, hurt, i, me, much, myself, object, office, pain, same, time, times, too
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

1 month ago
dislocation, fracture, humor, i, interest, laziness, procrastination
A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

1 month ago
college, college education, education, expectation, financial, financial investment, humor, investment, irony, life, not get, pay, person, student, student life
Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

1 month ago
confusion, finding, Friday, humor, nothing, surprise, time, Tuesday, waking, waking up, week
If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

1 month ago
4, achievement, diet, food, gain, humor, just, means, overachiever, pound, pounds, weekend
Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

1 month ago
bad, bad driver, crossroads, driver, driving, humor, intersection, life, unfortunately

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Making waves on Threads:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Freshly posted on X:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Going viral on Facebook:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Just shared via WeChat:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏