Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Absolutely! Waiting in line for more than 10 minutes should come with a golden ticket 🎫 to Candyland! 🍭 Who knew grocery shopping would turn into a sweet adventure? 😄"

candy, checkout, free, grocery, humor, line, longer, minutes, patience, shopping, should, store, treat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, encounter, humor, knife, me, psycho, shower, situation, sorry, unexpected, unexpected encounter
You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

0

3 days ago

anonymity, anything, cube, hear, humor, inventor, never, only, puzzle, Rubik
Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

0

2 months ago

anthropomorphism, dinner, event, food, food waste, gala, grow, humor, i, satire, shrimp, want, waste
Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

0

6 months ago

50s, coffee, hangover, happy, happy hour, hour, morning, mornings, new, welcome, where
Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

0

2 months ago

alan, Alan Rickman, around, avoiding, die, Die Hard, hard, harry, Harry Potter, humor, movie, night, opinion, potter, rickman, sneaking, tower, unpopular
The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

0

2 months ago

accuracy, accurate, bible, close, close range, humor, joke, range, sarcasm, throwing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Reddit this month:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

73 shares on Discord this month:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Just shared via X:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Just landed via YouTube:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Going viral on X:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Trending via TikTok:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Broadcasted on Slack:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Going bananas on Threads:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨