Commentary:
Werther's in the pocket: officially one cardigan away from being a grandparent 🤣👴🏼🍬
24 Funny candy quotes
I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.
Commentary:
Turns out I've been training for the Olympics in stealth candy consumption 🍬🎬🤫
I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.
Commentary:
Adulting is just a fancy word for Skittles buffet time! 🍬😂
Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.
Commentary:
Who knew that the secret to world peace was just to make everything gummy? 🤔🧸🍬
The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”
Commentary:
"BRB, off to invent the SPF 100 toddler wrangle-proof sunscreen! 😅👶🧴 #MissionImpossible"
I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.
Commentary:
🏆 And the award for Best Performance in Dental Deception goes to… *drumroll* YOU! 🎬🍭 Just imagine the acceptance speech: "I would like to thank my sweet tooth for always being there, even when I had to pretend it didn't exist in the dentist's chair." 😂 #OscarWorthyPerformance #NoCandyConfessions
Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?
Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.
Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't have your candy and eat it too clearly never heard of the Halloween salad bowl diet! It's all about balance… and a little bit of trick-or-treating magic."
I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.
Commentary:
"Who are we kidding? Those ‘energy bars’ are practically just candy in disguise! 🍫💪 Time to face the sweet reality and embrace the sugar rush in the name of ‘health’. 😂 #CandyBarConfessions"
Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.
Commentary:
"Talk about a dramatic entrance into the world! From nature's 'loading screen' to swiping and tapping your way through Candy Crush levels in no time 🤯🍬📱 Must be quite the upgrade for those tech-savvy little ones! #BornToSwipe"