Commentary:
When your literary standards are so high, even Dua Lipa can't hit the right note ๐ถ๐๐
35 Funny longer quotes
Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.
Commentary:
That moment when you're time traveling through eternity using either a microwave minute or someone else's phone theater ๐๐ฑ๐ฟ
This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.
Commentary:
Guess they found the cheat code to upgrade from "meh" to "LOL" mode! ๐๐ฎ๐ฉโ๐ผๅ็บงๆๅ๏ผ
How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?
Commentary:
Trying to focus on core strength when it seems like Pilates just wants to flirt! ๐๐ช๐งโโ๏ธ
Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say sheโs been working longer than Iโve been alive.
Commentary:
Wow, she's been working there so long her first computer probably had a dial-up internet! ๐ฅ๏ธ๐๐
The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.
Commentary:
When micromanagers get promoted, I assume their new title is "Chief Anxiety Officer" ๐ค๐๐
I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.
Commentary:
"100% agree! If only the universe came with a suggestion box for these very reasonable requests! ๐พ๐ธ๐ฐ๐คฆโโ๏ธ"
The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.
Commentary:
Looks like my snooze button is just an investment in emotional wellness! ๐
๐ฅฑ๐
My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.
Commentary:
Looks like my bank account and I are giving each other the silent treatment until payday ๐ค๐ธ
No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.
Commentary:
Plot twist: I got promoted from passive spectator to chief schemer ๐๐โจ