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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Going viral on Threads:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Spotted on Reddit:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Making waves on Messenger:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Going viral on Messenger:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Going bananas on Discord:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Going viral on Telegram:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Breaking via TikTok:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

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If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
📚😏 "Reading a book in public is like a public performance – you've got to hit that page 140 mark to avoid any judgmental side-eye! Because let's be real, flaunting the cover without the progress is like serving the appetizer without the main course! 😉📖"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Trending via Messenger:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Shared recently on Discord:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Just shared via Instagram:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Just landed via X:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Spotted on Instagram:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Spotted on Discord:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

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