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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Just landed via Discord:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Making waves on X:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Going bananas on WeChat:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Trending via Telegram:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Just landed via Discord:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living proof that 'Netflix and chill' can be a lifestyle choice! 📺😂 #NoRegrets"

entertainment, humor, irony, leisure, much, product, self-deprecating, supervision, television, too, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

0

2 months ago

bacon, breakfast, caffeine, coffee, crime, crime rate, even, humor, imagination, imagine, lifestyle, rate
It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

0

2 months ago

clapping, clapping emoji, comment, death, emoji, family, fun, games, hands, media, mistake, news, prayer, prayer hands, send, social, social media
You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

0

2 months ago

couples, date, food, humor, hunger, hungry, i, know, mean, people, relationship, share, sharing
Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

0

2 months ago

behavior, electricity, empowerment, ever, fork, humor, i, irony, risky, risky behavior, socket, time, unexpected
I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

0

2 months ago

agree, humor, i, irony, media, much, people, please, share, social, social media, stand, validation
I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

0

2 months ago

again, celebrity, football, game, guy, humor, i, sports, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite color is money.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

12 shares on Threads this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Just landed via X:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Going viral on Instagram:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Shared recently on Threads:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Going bananas on Facebook:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Breaking via Telegram:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨