25 funny television quotes - Wordgag

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

May 25, 2026

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

May 25, 2026

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

May 23, 2026

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

May 23, 2026

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

May 23, 2026

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

May 22, 2026

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

May 22, 2026

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

May 21, 2026

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

May 21, 2026

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

May 20, 2026

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

May 19, 2026

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

May 19, 2026

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

May 19, 2026

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

May 18, 2026

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

May 6, 2026

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Apr 1, 2026

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Mar 31, 2026

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Mar 31, 2026

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Mar 31, 2026

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Mar 31, 2026

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Mar 31, 2026

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Mar 31, 2026

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Mar 30, 2026

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Mar 30, 2026