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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,909

Funny Quotes Topics

14,725

Funny Quotes Images

11,909

Updated

3 seconds ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Just shared via Discord:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.
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Commentary:
Instagram: where the grass is greener and the filters are stronger 😂📸🌳

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,909

Funny Quotes Topics

14,725

Funny Quotes Images

11,909

Updated

3 seconds ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Just landed via X:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Shared recently on Slack:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Making waves on Facebook:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Seen just now on X:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Just landed via Facebook:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Just shared via WeChat:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Going viral on Instagram:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

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