Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Just landed via Telegram:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Going bananas on Discord:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Just shared via Reddit:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Instagram: where the grass is greener and the filters are stronger 😂📸🌳

comparison, humor, Instagram, just, media, outdoors, outside, people, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

0

2 months ago

airline, cigarette, funny idea, humor, idea, people, plane, section, should, smoking, suggestion, travel, where, wing
I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

0

2 months ago

back, Back to the Future, Doc, excitement, exciting, future, humor, i, just, looks, man, me, movie, movie reference, reference, relationship, something, want
Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

0

2 months ago

hit, humor, joke, modern, modern humor, tech, tech joke, technology, vape, vaping
I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

0

2 months ago

dating, flirt, humor, i, insult, interaction, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills, wit
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

0

2 months ago

beverage, calming, humor, i, irony, making, me, nervous, relaxation, smell, taste, tea
If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

0

2 months ago

comparison, great, greatness, humor, irony, joke, someone, technology, USA, USB

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on YouTube this month:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

60 shares on X this month:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

77 shares on X this month:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Going viral on Slack:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Seen just now on Discord:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Just shared via Snapchat:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Spotted on Reddit:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨