37 funny Instagram quotes - Wordgag

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

May 29, 2026

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

May 29, 2026

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

May 28, 2026

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

May 28, 2026

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

May 28, 2026

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

May 28, 2026

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

May 28, 2026

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

May 28, 2026

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

May 28, 2026

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

May 28, 2026

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

May 28, 2026

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

May 27, 2026

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

May 27, 2026

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

May 27, 2026

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

May 26, 2026

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

May 25, 2026

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

May 25, 2026

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

May 25, 2026

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

May 25, 2026

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

May 24, 2026

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

May 24, 2026

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

May 23, 2026

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

May 23, 2026

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

May 23, 2026

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

May 22, 2026

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

May 22, 2026

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

May 21, 2026

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

May 20, 2026

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

May 20, 2026

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

May 20, 2026

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

May 20, 2026

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

May 20, 2026

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

May 20, 2026

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

May 19, 2026

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

May 19, 2026

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

May 19, 2026

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

May 19, 2026