Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Breaking via Reddit:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Trending via Instagram:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Breaking via Pinterest:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Freshly posted on X:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Beep beep! Who's out there? Are they on a secret mission to find 24-hour donuts? 🍩🚗💤

3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, car, fear, going, hear, late, late night, me, night, night sound, road, sound, stay, staying, staying up late, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

2 months ago

adulthood, dying, expectations, humor, just, life, perspective, reality, struggle, Thursday, welcome
“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

2 months ago

expectations, family, humor, i, irony, kids, never, parenting, spoiler, yes
Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

2 months ago

anxiety, being, cause, disappointment, health, humor, irony, main, mental, mental health, people, people pleaser, pleaser, pressure, self-esteem, social, social pressure
Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

2 months ago

after, afterlife, ancient, ancient Egypt, belief, burial, buried, chest, egypt, fun, hands, humor, life, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide
If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

2 months ago

AI, comparison, education, GPT-5, humor, intelligence, joke, Ph.D., PhD, someone, wit
Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

2 months ago

believe, celebration, disappointment, frustration, happy, humor, late, late night, new, new year, night, party, shit, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Slack this month:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Shared recently on Instagram:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Just shared via X:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Making waves on Messenger:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨