Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Today's temperature was so sizzling, I almost auditioned for a role in 'Toasty Toasters: The Sequel' 🔥😅 Stay cool out there, folks! ☀️"

cremated, exaggeration, going, heat, hot, humor, i, joke, summer, temperature, thought, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

0

2 months ago

activity, binge-watching, casual, casual date, chicken, chicken nugget, comfort, comfort food, date, food, fun, fun activity, humor, Netflix, nugget, snack
Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

0

2 months ago

activity, cooking, curse, curse word, frustration, funny activity, golf, great, humor, lab, learn, learning, new, sport, subconscious, word, words
Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

0

2 months ago

asking, babe, being, binge-watching, every, hours, humor, loneliness, me, Netflix, only, relationship, reminder, self-care, shoutout, still, streaming, thank, watching
When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

0

2 months ago

catching, clumsiness, competition, dropping, event, humor, me, Olympics, phone, shine, sport
Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

0

2 months ago

activity, humor, i, just, old, old person, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, person, relaxation, sit, sit outside, understand, why
If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

0

2 months ago

call, humor, joke, me, number, phone, privacy, respect

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

34 shares on X this month:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Trending via TikTok:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Just shared via Reddit:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Going viral on WeChat:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨