Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
  • Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.
  • Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.
  • What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.
  • That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.
  • The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.