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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Shared recently on Messenger:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Trending via Messenger:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Trending via TikTok:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Shared recently on Facebook:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Spotted on X:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Going viral on Messenger:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I've been a nutrition expert my whole life without even knowing it! 🍪🍫🥔🎉

body, candy, chip, chips, cookie, diet, essential, food, found, fuel, humor, important, nutrient, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

0

2 months ago

birthday, co-worker, coworkers, found, humor, i, job, need, new, new job, work, workplace
I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

0

2 months ago

eat, eating, expensive, feelings, humor, i, self-care, therapy, used, well
Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

0

2 months ago

always, bring, car, family, family reunion, freedom, humor, independence, own, own car, reunion, rule, take, take off, travel, want, whenever
I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

0

2 months ago

disappointment, expectations, humor, i, learn, marriage, relationship, request, sabbatical, today, works
Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

0

2 months ago

along, best, best minute, day, family, getting, happiness, joy, kids, laughing, minute, peaceful, playing, seeing, together, togetherness
I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

0

5 months ago

athletic, athleticism, confidence, humor, i, intelligence, joke, keep, man, most, sarcasm, scrolling, second, self-deprecating, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on X this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

68 shares on WeChat this month:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Going viral on Twitch:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Just landed via Messenger:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Broadcasted on Slack:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Live now on Pinterest:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Spotted on Telegram:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨