Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My recliner and I go way back.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Going viral on Facebook:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Just shared via WeChat:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Proof that my workout motto is 'Why sweat when you can just pet the dog?' 🐶😅 #NoPainAllGain"

burpees, exercise, fitness, found, humor, just, motivation, no pain, pain, procrastination, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

0

2 months ago

again, amusing, amusing moment, board, cover, everyday, everyday life, household, humor, i, irony, irony joke, joke, laughter, life, moment, noticed, today, word
But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

0

2 months ago

flipping, humor, i, irony, me, people, tinted, tinted window, visibility, window, Windows
Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

0

2 months ago

delete, exactly, humor, i, life, looks, me, photo, real, real life, self-image
Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

0

2 months ago

401k, advice, bank, check, email, financial, financial advice, humor, know, money, reality, reality check, retire, retirement, sarcasm, saying
At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

0

2 months ago

bible, drugs, humor, interpretation, irony, point, religion, sell, single, tell
Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

0

2 months ago

clothing, colour, fashion, humor, illegal, joke, leggings, should, skin, skin colour, style

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

56 shares on X this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

62 shares on Slack this month:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Spotted on Messenger:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Making waves on Facebook:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Just shared via Telegram:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Shared recently on Threads:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Spotted on Telegram:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨