Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"

better, care, health, humor, liquor, liquor store, myself, procrastination, self-care, start, store, tomorrow, walk, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

0

2 months ago

cleaner, dark, electricity, house, humor, keep, looks, save
When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

0

2 months ago

better, humor, living, longing, much, music, nostalgia, past, people, sarcasm, say, stop, thought, turn
Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

0

2 months ago

activity, family, gentle, gentle parenting, hear, humor, kids, kids activity, making, mango, parenting, parenting humor, peeling, say, sure
The peace of not knowing.

0

3 weeks ago

calmness, humor, ignorance, irony, knowing, peace
Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

0

2 months ago

activity, cake, ever, humor, jump, party, question, surprise
Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

0

2 months ago

banana, expression, happiness, humor, monkey, new, smile

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Seen just now on YouTube:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Spotted on Facebook:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Trending via Pinterest:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Just shared via Slack:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Going viral on X:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Going viral on Pinterest:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Trending via Snapchat:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

The peace of not knowing.

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨