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Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

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Work really needs to respect my personal space; we're not even exclusive! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ“…โœ‹



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A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

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The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

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I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

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Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

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Sorry Iโ€™m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

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Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to โ€œget those beans brewingโ€.