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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.
  • The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.
  • Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.
  • The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.
  • I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.
  • I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.