Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Just landed via TikTok:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Trending via Messenger:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Going viral on YouTube:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Trending via WhatsApp:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Going bananas on Instagram:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Playful quote about dog-owner wishes, funny text highlighting pet expectations and humor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe the real trick is to start wagging your tail and looking extra adorable in hopes that your dog will reciprocate with a tasty reward 🐶🐾 Who's really in charge here, right?"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

26 shares on Discord this month:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Trending via Reddit:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Going viral on Discord:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Trending via Instagram:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Going viral on Instagram:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

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