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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Live now on WhatsApp:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Going viral on Threads:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Going viral on Threads:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Just shared via Discord:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Just landed via Instagram:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling ancient over here—behold, someone who remembers when the internet sounded like a fax machine! 📟🕰️🎶

1900s, 25, 25 year old, age, age gap, conversation, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, me, old, patience, patient, please, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

0

2 months ago

back, change, climate, climate change, cool, difference, generational, generational difference, global, global warming, humor, nostalgia, nowhere, people, real, reason, warming, young, young people
Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

0

2 months ago

day, days, downs, fan, humor, life, perspective, shit, ups, ups and downs
We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, breakfast, choice, decision, dinner, food, meal, relationship, where
Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

0

2 months ago

20, brain, brains, clue, email, every, forget, forgetfulness, Funny, got, humor, i, irony, memory, password, remember, song, word
There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace
I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, energy, engine, exhaustion, frustration, full, gas, hate, having, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, tank

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Discord this month:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Spotted on Discord:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Going viral on Discord:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Trending via Slack:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Seen just now on Discord:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨