Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Just landed via Messenger:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Making waves on X:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Making waves on Twitch:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Breaking via Discord:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

2 months ago

0

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, moms and their unmatched ability to connect the dots in the most unexpected ways! Bringing you the latest family news from the depths of six degrees of separation! 🌟 Just remember, in the maternal network, no detail is too small to share! 😆 #MomLogic

aunt, communication, cousin, died, family, gossip, humorous, humorous observation, husband, just, know, mom, neighbor, neighbors, observation, should, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, argument, arguments, bang, comedy, disappear, flash, frustration, humor, i, idiots, sarcasm, self-expression, thinking, throw, wish, wishful, wishful thinking, witty
Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

0

3 weeks ago

AI, anti-AI, apocalypse, being, comparison, feels, human, humans, humor, right, zombie, zombie apocalypse
Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

0

4 months ago

beautiful, beautiful woman, big, big car, buy, car, driving, gorgeous, grocery, house, humor, irony, kitchen, luxury, oh, overpriced, rich, rich woman, shopping, stock, woman
I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

0

2 months ago

cat, communication, dogs, fetch, humor, i, internet, irony, newspapers, pets, sorry, technology
I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

0

4 months ago

care, cleavage, complaint, distraction, football, guys, hate, humor, i, jealousy, time, time of year, wants, year
When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

0

2 months ago

achievement, adventure, ambition, death, die, everest, humor, i, irony, looks, me, mount, Mount Everest, something, throw, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Making waves on TikTok:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Making waves on Messenger:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Going viral on Discord:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Live now on Twitch:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Spotted on Slack:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Seen just now on Threads:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴