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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,834

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Spotted on Reddit:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Making waves on WeChat:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's time to start packing those boxes! Hope your new neighbors aren't as hungry! 😅📦🍽️

awkwardness, boyfriend, dinner, humor, invitation, invited, move, neighbors, over, relationship, situation, social, social situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

1 month ago
antics, candy, dispenser, humor, ibuprofen, medicine, pain, pain relief, PEZ, quirky, relief, whimsical
HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

1 month ago
beloved, communication, dearly, Dearly Beloved, emails, giving, hard, hr, humor, me, office, time, work, workplace
I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

1 month ago
actually, away, back, communication, forget, forgot, head, humor, i, misunderstanding, never, procrastination, reply, right, saw, social, technology, text, texting, type
I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

1 month ago
3, after, always, applause, attention, die, humor, i, minutes, post, timing, wait
Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

1 month ago
back, bro, casual, communication, humor, just, patience, playful, puzzle, reassurance, relationship, right, shell, working, worry
Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

2 months ago
bad, comedy, emotional, emotional pain, fantasy, feelings, health, humor, insecurity, mental, mental health, pain, self-esteem

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Breaking via X:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Going viral on X:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Just shared via X:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Reincarnation, in this economy?

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

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My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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