My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

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Single, not sure how to mingle.

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To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

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If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

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Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.