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Commentary:
Looks like your dad has the superpower of time manipulation, one big sneeze at a time! 🤧⏰⏰ Next time he sneezes, maybe we'll all get an extra hour of sleep! 😄 #SneezeMaster

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

2 months ago

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“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

2 months ago

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We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

4 weeks ago

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Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

2 months ago

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The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

2 weeks ago

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Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Seen just now on Slack:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Just landed via Instagram:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Freshly posted on X:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨