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Well, that's one way to follow the doctor's orders! 🍹🪞 Who knew self-reflection could be so intoxicating? Maybe the real question is: does the mirror judge your choice of cocktail? 🤔😄 Remember, it's all about perspective… and a good sense of humor! Cheers to seeing eye to eye with yourself! 🥂✨

doctor, drink, drinking, health, humor, i, joke, me, mirror, self-reflection, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

1 month ago
expectation, experience, humor, lesson, want, wanted
There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward situations, clip, funny moments, good, grooming, humor, library, moments, never, place, public, public space, situations, space, toenails
Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

1 month ago
button, dickhead, door, easier, fall, floor, frustration, humor, life, much, push, thinking, trap, trap door, wishful, wishful thinking
How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

1 month ago
aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole
Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

1 month ago
alcohol, always, breathe, drink, hear, humor, i, needs, revive, sarcasm, want, wine
Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

1 month ago
day, Friday, humor, procrastination, Thursday, time, today, unnecessary, week

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

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Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

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I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

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Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

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If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Live now on Pinterest:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Shared recently on Messenger:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Going viral on Facebook:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Just shared via Facebook:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

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Activity Log ✨

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

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