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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Trending via YouTube:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Trending via Instagram:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

2 months ago

0

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that's one way to follow the doctor's orders! 🍹🪞 Who knew self-reflection could be so intoxicating? Maybe the real question is: does the mirror judge your choice of cocktail? 🤔😄 Remember, it's all about perspective… and a good sense of humor! Cheers to seeing eye to eye with yourself! 🥂✨

doctor, drink, drinking, health, humor, i, joke, me, mirror, self-reflection, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, felony, girl, humor, irony, name, vandalism
The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

0

2 months ago

commentary, evening, good, humor, irony, media, negativity, news, society, tell, where
You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, cycle, dust, dusting, existentialism, humor, life, life cycle, philosophy, procrastination, someone
You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

0

2 months ago

bread, cooking, food, garlic, humor, just, why, wonder
Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

0

2 months ago

breakup, comfort, every, hand, held, humor, relationship, sugar, support, through
Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

0

5 months ago

beer, care, dating, fix, frustration, going, humor, i, mood, mood swing, relationship, same, swing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

57 shares on Discord this month:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

22 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

25 shares on X this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Just landed via Facebook:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Just shared via Facebook:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Breaking via Slack:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Just shared via Discord:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Going viral on Messenger:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

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