My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.