12 funny evidence quotes - Wordgag

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

May 29, 2026

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

May 28, 2026

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

May 28, 2026

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

May 28, 2026

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

May 27, 2026

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

May 25, 2026

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

May 25, 2026

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

May 24, 2026

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

May 23, 2026

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

May 22, 2026

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

May 22, 2026

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

May 19, 2026