My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

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I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

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Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

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Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

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If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

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I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“