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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Making waves on Reddit:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Spotted on YouTube:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
"Forever young, but not a minute early! 🕒😎👴"

dark, dark humor, death, die, humor, humor statement, late, life, longevity, philosophy, plan, statement, wit, young

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

2 months ago

activity, arm, cost, dolphin, expense, expensive, fun, fun activity, humor, leg, me, shark, should, swimming, think, try
Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

1 month ago

bag, binge, Doritos, eating, food, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, pleasure, sitting, snaccident, snack, whole
Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

1 month ago

battle, challenges, club, conflict, fight, fight club, fighting, humor, know, life, life challenges, rule, rules, secrecy, struggles
What an embarrassing time to be alive.

1 month ago

alive, commentary, embarrassing, existential, humor, irony, society, time
Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

1 month ago

flirtation, girl, humor, i, line, mixed, myself, pick-up, pick-up line, signals
I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

1 month ago

always, beauty, beauty routine, face, grooming, humor, i, make-up, makeup, men, routine, shaving, stupid, women, wonder

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Live now on Threads:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Just landed via Discord:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Making waves on X:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Making waves on Discord:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

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My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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