Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Trending via YouTube:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Going viral on Discord:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

2 months ago

0

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the quintessential dread of returning to work – it hits differently after a delicious lunch, a rejuvenating vacation, or simply facing the reality of adulting 🙈 On the bright side, at least you can always look forward to your next break or retirement 🌞💼 #MondayBlues"

back, feeling, going, humor, just, lunch, motivation, office, return, struggle, vacation, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

0

2 months ago

alone, awake, better, beverage, caffeine, coffee, humor, just, morning, only, solitude
Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

0

2 months ago

backfire, beans, consequences, eating, food, funny moment, humor, moment, surprise, thought
I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

0

1 month ago

appearance, confidence, Funny, got, growth, hot, humor, i, perfect, personal, personal growth, self, self-confidence, transformation, twenty, ugly
Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

0

2 months ago

beards, cleaning, humor, men, relationship, sexy, shaving, sick, washbasin, women
I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

0

1 month ago

age, change, cool, hear, here, humor, i, loud, myself, say, self-awareness, things, think, used
I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, i, interaction, just, Macarena, people, push, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

31 shares on Threads this month:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Food gives you energy to nap more.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Live now on Slack:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Seen just now on X:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Just landed via Threads:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

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