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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Trending via WeChat:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Broadcasted on X:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Trending via X:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Making waves on Twitch:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Trending via WeChat:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Live now on Instagram:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about accidental kindness after a fall, highlighting playful family dynamics.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like falling down the stairs was the secret to getting the royal treatment at home 👑🤕 Who knew that a little tumble could lead to such luxury treatment? It's all fun and games until someone takes a spill, right? 🤣 #ClumsyButCaredFor

attention, being, catering, exactly, fall, family, hack, humor, i, life, life hack, needs, nice, situation, stairs, sure, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

97 shares on X this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Making waves on Twitch:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Just shared via Telegram:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Trending via Snapchat:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Freshly posted on X:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Trending via Pinterest:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

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