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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,824

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Spotted on Discord:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Just shared via Threads:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Just landed via Instagram:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Live now on Pinterest:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight… unless you count the early morning regret as a valuable life lesson! 💳🌙💸"

after, bad, bad decisions, card, credit, credit card, decisions, good, humor, late, late night, midnight, money, night, nightlife, nothing, spending

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

4 months ago

attendance, being, everyone, happy, hell, humor, just, late, lateness, liked, office, perk, perks, popularity, work
Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

1 month ago

appetite, feel, food, great, humor, hungry, irony, meal, soup, still, want
I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

1 month ago

advertising, application, beauty, consumer, consumer humor, course, expensive, humor, i, love, luxury, luxury products, products, sarcasm, say, skincare
I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

2 months ago

alarm, always, bedtime, before, best, humor, i, laziness, minutes, morning, procrastination, sleep, sleeping
I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

4 months ago

bro, brush, casual, cat, humor, i, whatever
I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

1 month ago

always, attitude, confidence, everyone, hate, hotter, humor, i, me, self-love

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Breaking via TikTok:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Just shared via Slack:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Trending via Discord:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Going bananas on Discord:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Just landed via Discord:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

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Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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