Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Just shared via Threads:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Just landed via Messenger:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Spotted on Discord:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Live now on YouTube:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

1 week ago

Witty quote about the risk of snoozing again in the morning, playful and relatable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of choosing between sleep and productivity! 🛌⏰ Who knew that hitting snooze could be such a risky business? 😅 Better watch out for those extra Z's, they might just lead to a morning full of adventure… or a mad dash out the door! ⏳☕️"

again, alarm, closing, closing eyes, extra, extra minute, eyes, humor, minute, morning, nothing, risk, sleep, snooze

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

25 shares on Discord this month:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

49 shares on Discord this month:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Just landed via YouTube:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Trending via Snapchat:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m running out of people I like.

Shared recently on Telegram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Seen just now on Discord:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

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