Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Trending via Slack:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Trending via Twitch:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Just shared via Threads:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Going viral on Messenger:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Just shared via Telegram:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Seen just now on X:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I need to stock up on acorns for my secret admirer 🐿️😂🌰

animal, day, going, humor, love, obsession, relationship, someone, squirrel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

0

2 weeks ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

0

2 months ago

childhood, digital, digital toy, euthanasia, humor, pet, Tamagotchi, toy, virtual, virtual pet
Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

0

2 months ago

bottle, childhood, drop, humor, nostalgia, parents, phone, school, snacks, survival, us, used, water, water bottle
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

0

4 days ago

animal, animal emotion, butterfly, emotion, fall, feel, feeling, human, humans, humor, love, stomach
Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beautiful chocolate, chocolate, food, hot, hot chocolate, humor, self-esteem, time
Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

0

2 months ago

adults, attention, away, being, child, childhood, children, drama, dramatic, dynamics, everything, family, family dynamics, getting, humor, middle, middle child, oldest, oldest child, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, still, trying, younger, youngest, youngest child

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Discord this month:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Just shared via Threads:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Breaking via Slack:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨