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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Just landed via WeChat:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Going viral on YouTube:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Making waves on Discord:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like I need to stock up on acorns for my secret admirer 🐿️😂🌰

animal, day, going, humor, love, obsession, relationship, someone, squirrel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

1 month ago
accent, English, English accent, ghost, ghost story, humor, scary, sound, story
I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

2 months ago
bed, bed hogging, cat, hell, hogging, humor, i, love, mattress, much, pet, queen-size, queen-size mattress, size, sleep, small, small size, take
Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

1 month ago
comfort, home, seat, seats, toilet, trust, where
Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

2 months ago
hottest, hottest single, humor, joke, me, music, personality, self-confidence, single, Spotify, year
I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

1 month ago
baby, baby seagull, bigger, bigger problems, funny thought, humor, i, just, know, nature, never, observation, problems, realization, right, seagull, seen, thought, world
Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

1 month ago
celebrity, entertainment, humor, life, lifestyle, luxury, observation, party, people, rich, social, social life, videos, watch, wealth

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Live now on YouTube:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Breaking via Snapchat:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Freshly posted on X:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

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Activity Log ✨

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

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One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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